Finding our own comfort level

Hello dear readers. I must apologize for slacking on the blog-front and this is only my second real blog post from China!! I could say that I have been busy trying to adjust to a new culture where I know only .0001% of the language as well as getting over various physical maladies such as the runs, heat rash, swollen ankles and a stuffed-up head from adjusting to air-conditioning. However, it’s really been a case of me wracking my brains to figure out how I can eloquently explain how I am taking in this complete paradigm shift in my life.

Over the last three weeks I have gone through a range of emotions as I adjust to life here in Nanjing. At the time I wrote my last blog post, I was still experiencing the initial emotions and excitement one has when first arriving in a new place. The sense of long-termness had not hit me yet and I was experiencing being here as if I was on a vacation here for one or two weeks. However, after our second weekend here, it finally hit me that we were indeed here for the long haul. It was then that I got the heat rash, swollen feet and had to grab the bottle of Immodium to treat my stomach woes. The Chinese food I raved about in my last blog post started to make my stomach turn and suddenly a McDonald’s double cheeseburger never seemed so delectable (and you know you’ve hit a low point when McDonald’s is all you dream about……). The helpful and accommodating students I referred to before suddenly seemed to give me strange quizzical looks when I would ask for their help in ordering food for dinner at the school cafeteria. And then I realized that I was quite homesick, missing my friends and family, missing Seattle and missing delicious familiar foods. The rug had suddenly been pulled from underneath me and my world had turned upside down.

Sunday afternoon shopping at French brand superstore Carrefour.
Not related to this blog post but a good example of how crowded it is!

I was grateful to have McDonald’s, Starbucks, and Ikea nearby for a sense of familiarity (not only for the food but also for the Western style restrooms). I’m not proud of this nor do I recommend that other Americans try living in major East Coast Chinese cities because they can still have all the comforts of home. I felt guilty that local food was suddenly unappetizing and that I did backflips when I found a western bakery and deli (ovens, baked goods and cheese are hard to come by here) and wanted to spend entire days in our apartment watching pirated DVDs of American TV shows. Thankfully our new friend Jordan- a fellow American teacher, told me that I will overcome this sense and need for isolation. The McDonald’s he pointed out was comfort food. Eventually, the desire for certain familiar comforts will dissipate and rather than them being things I desire all the time, I will realize that I happily will be able to do without many of these comforts and that they will become occasional indulgences.

"Start of the semester" traffic next door at Nanjing Normal
University last Saturday. Loud, constant honking all day!

I have also learned to not apply my old logic to how things should work here. For example, I was scared stiff when it came to crossing streets and roads here. You see, even though there are pedestrian crossings and traffic signals for people to cross the street, scooters and motorcycles will ignore the red lights and continue to go through traffic whether it means going straight, turning suddenly down an intersecting street or getting around on a sidewalk- whichever seems to be the quickest approach. As a pedestrian you can cross cautiously, run across as quick as you can in the hope of avoiding any approaching scooters or you can hope that they will swerve around you (do you remember that video game called “Frogger” from the early 80’s? Yea- like that). This angered and frustrated me to no end when we first arrived because it just seemed like a completely lawless, disorderly, self-serving system (or lack thereof). But that was using my old experiences and expectations of how drivers should behave and act in any US city. I now cross the street a little more comfortably if not with more savvy ever since I have thrown away this prior US-logic.

Typical Chinese squat-toilet in public
restroom with bin for soiled tissue.

I also realize that I need to ease in to some activities, functions and rituals. Take the public restrooms. Most standard Chinese bathrooms have squat-toilets which means that the toilets are embedded into the floor with two places for your feet on either side of the bowl. It actually makes a lot of sense to squat while you do your business. In fact I’m sure it’s the most natural way to do it and can be argued to be better for your bladder and other inside parts. Some would say it’s more sanitary as well. Don’t expect to find toilet paper in public restrooms here either. Always be prepared to carry small tissue packets or toilet paper rolls (without the inner cardboard tubes) and never put toilet paper in the toilet! Little waste baskets are provided in the bathrooms for you to put your soiled paper. And isn’t this also better for the septic system? I would say so. Nevertheless, it’s a big adjustment for me to use the public restrooms here (which is why I happily use Western toilets at Starbucks, etc. when they are available). If I can’t get over my fear of using public restrooms and squat toilets, I will get really squeamish when it comes to traveling off the beaten track here in China and using very primitive, rural toilets. Therefore I have resolved to “ease” into using squat toilets here in Nanjing. Today I started using the squat-toilet restrooms here on campus which are pretty clean and sanitary. This may seem like a trivial thing but I am quite proud of this accomplishment and know that I will soon be closer (literally and figuratively) to using toilets in even the most appalling of conditions. Baby steps, baby steps…..

In order to not fall victims to the sense of isolation and homesickness one can experience in being in a new place, Derek and I are slowly putting ourselves out “there” by trying to meet new Chinese friends as well as getting to know the other foreign teachers in our building. This is why I volunteered to help out last Friday at a booth for the English Salon, a social club on campus here at Nanjing University of Finance and Economics where students and foreign teachers can get together to practice English (and Chinese!) conversation and experience such American holidays like Halloween and Christmas (the non-religious side of course). I walked over to the north end of the campus with Randy, one of the new American teachers here at NUFE but certainly a seasoned pro here in China (he’s been here for almost ten years, speaks extensive Chinese and has a Chinese wife). When we arrived we helped the older Chinese students recruit new freshmen to join the club. To be honest I wasn’t very helpful in effectively recruiting new students. Most of the shy, timid freshmen shied away as soon as they saw the big, imposing figure that I am coming towards them and then they completely scampered off as soon as I opened my mouth and said “Hello!!! Would you like to join the English club????” One of the older students politely said, “Hmm, you are quite tall.” And then suggested I might sit down and take a rest. But that is how I met my new friend “Tom” whose English name I helped come up with right there on the spot (so in a way, I have helped “give birth” to someone’s new identity here!). After a while, Tom and Jillian (also obviously not her Chinese given name) whisked Randy and me away and brought us to the cafeteria for lunch. They sought out a corner in the cafeteria that was comfortably situated near the air-conditioner and told us to make ourselves comfortable as they went and selected some dishes for us for lunch. A few minutes later they came back with some tasty dishes such as a tomato scrambled egg dish, some shredded pork with shredded cucumber on top and for me alone- some “zhu tong” which is translated literally to “soup in a bamboo bowl” (**to all my Seattle friends out there- Stan in particular- I had to share this soup reference. Even here they have figured out my love of soup!). Tom and Jill so patiently and graciously helped me with writing down in my little notebook the correct tones and pronunciation as well as pin yin, the romanization system for transcribing Chinese words and names, of all the foods we were eating. It was sitting right there and then with Randy, Tom and Jill that I suddenly realized that Chinese food was again delicious and appetizing for the first time in a week and I had no desire to rush to a McDonald’s for a bacon, double cheeseburger. I was so overwhelmed and touched by their generosity and graciousness and was curious to learn more about their lives. After eating our lunch and the cafeteria almost empty, we strolled our way back to the main part of the campus until we parted ways. Jillian offered to help Derek and me with any Chinese we are interested in learning and Tom also extended the offer for any help we would need.

Enjoying lunch with new friends Jillian and Tom.

Derek and I have had a dream for a couple of years to live overseas. One of my personal reasons for wanting to travel and live overseas was to push our comfort level. I am learning from our experience over the last few days though that pushing your comfort level doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable, icky, painful or stressful experience. Maybe a better way of phrasing it should be finding your own comfort level. Everyone who comes to China eventually finds their own comfort level. Some may be completely content traveling to remote, desolate spots and living for weeks in an abandoned home with no contact with other foreigners or other people for that matter; others’ comfort level can be reached traveling in larger cities with the occasional comforts from home; and then there may be others who enjoy just staying in Nanjing and enjoying all it has to offer as a city and its elements of Chinese life. We have not found our own comfort level here yet. It may be one of the three I just mentioned or perhaps it will be a combination of all three. Exploring and finding our own comfort level here in China is why we’re here.

Strangest misuse of the English language

TIC- This is China

A whirlwind few days it has been since our arrival here in Nanjing, China late last Wednesday. We’ve finally gotten settled and are on our on our feet but not without a few minor hiccups. Let me explain..

We arrived late last Wednesday night in Nanjing after 22+ hours of travelling only to find out that our checked-in bags had not arrived. Then, when we finally arrived at our apartment at 1 am Thursday morning in a half daze, we had another little hiccup. What is the first thing you want to do when you arrive at your new home after traveling and sitting for 24+ hours? You of course want to use the bathroom. No sooner had Derek finished his business when he told me the toilet did not flush. The next morning, we discovered the phone in our apartment actually didn’t work as it needed batteries. We bought the AA and AAA batteries but those didn’t fit. Today, when we thought we were finally in the clear of all these hiccups, Derek’s key to our apartment got stuck in our door. An hour and a half later and with the patient work of two men, several tools and W40, we finally have an entire new lock and two new sets of keys. Of course everything works out in the end- the toilet does flush, the key does work, and yes we finally got all of our bags. Normally such events would cause my stress level to spike but I’m learning to not worry about things that are out of my control and to take such small hiccups here with a grain of salt. Why? TIC- this is China. This is what people say around here when something doesn’t work, breaks or there is a little hiccup. It’s just what happens here and all you can really do is relax and trust that things will work out in the end.

So, in addition to experiencing the concept of “TIC”, I have several other first impressions and experiences I would like to share. Keep in mind we are on sensory overload at the moment. Details that may seem rather mundane are both intriguing and amusing to me.

Cute overload
I really can’t get over the obsession here with cute things. If you go onto a dollar store here (which I think are the items that are too cheap to sell at US dollar stores, so you can imagine the abundance of both treasures and crap) and want to buy a lamp, all that is available are little plastic lamps in different pastel colors and with little cartoon sheep and bunnies on them saying “Everyday Goodday! Clouds!!!”. Or if you go into the stationery / bookstore on campus, you can pick from two type of notebooks: Communist party- recycled toilet paper notebooks or pink, polka-dot Hello-Kittyish notebooks. In the Carrefour (it’s a French Wallmart) we bought some household essentials. Waiting in line at the checkout, I eyed a freezer bag that had weird looking cartoon sheep on it that were called something like “Sheep-breeze-bearded Glory!!!”. I thought about it and thought that these Chinese manufacturers must secretly have a way to read my creative five year old nephew’s mind and steal his ideas for nicknames, slogans and expressions. But really the oddest and biggest abuse of cuteness I saw was the other day when a white toy poodle rushed by me in the market with bright orange dyed ears and a tail.

Pictionary and Charades
Honing in on my past Pictionary and charade game skills from my childhood, I have been able to communicate on a basic level with people if I am not with a person who speaks Mandarin fluently or on some level. This still leads to some rather embarrassing situations. A few days ago, I went into a nice pharmacy where they sell beauty and personal hygiene products. I was on a mission to find some- ahem- tampons. I looked at what seemed like the Great Wall of Sanitary Napkins. Rows and rows of different brands of pads- and yes- even Hello Kitty ones. Well, I didn’t find my coveted tampons so I finally went up to a couple of woman working in the store and started spouting out names of tampons. “Tampax? Tampons? OB?” They all drew a blank. I then asked is they spoke English (in Chinese- it’s the one sentence I can say) and they summoned a man in the store over. Well, he also really didn’t speak English. Pretty soon there were five of them crowding around me. I searched through my backpack to see if I had a tampon that I show them. Nope. In the end and out of desperation, I had to draw a picture of one. Immediately they stepped back as if they were all embarrassed for me. The man quickly pointed to some boxes of OB tampons- which by the way, were right in front of my face before when I had been scanning for the last five minutes. Honestly, I think they were more embarrassed for me than I was but I felt no shame, because a woman has got to have her comforts. At least now I know where to find them and I’m pleased that my Pictionary skills are up to par.

Dining out
Visiting Derek’s family this summer, his cousin said, “You know what will be the best part of living in China? Chinese food!”. I can happily say Taylor was right and wish we could share some of the wonderful cuisine we’ve tried in the last week. I’m still trying to- literally- get a grip on chopsticks, but we’ve enjoyed some delicious food at street vendors, fancy restaurants and little restaurants under the nearby shopping center. When you arrive at a restaurant here, there is a package of utensils wrapped in plastic wrap at each place which includes a small ceramic plate for food, a small bowl for rice and food, a small teacup for tea, a ceramic spoon, and a small shot glass for drinks. Chop sticks can be found typically in a dispenser on the table or individually wrapped. Napkins are usually not available so it’s best to bring your own packet of tissues (this also comes in handy for public restrooms). Once you sit down, a waitress will immediately come to the table and wait there as the host selects items on the menu. Rather than ordering dishes for each person present, the host selects four or five dishes of meat, chicken, fish and/or vegetables which everyone will share. As the plates arrive you can help yourself to portions of food with your chop sticks and transfer them to your own plate. Rice is viewed as a filler and is something you have to request. The reason for this is if you are a host, you do not want your guests to be hungry. However, if you notice that the dishes ordered are almost empty, you can order rice at the end so that your guests can fill the rest of their appetites with it. Typically I have seen from other tables that people will only eat about half of each of the dishes they ordered and that might be a sign of politeness to show that they are full and have had enough to eat. At some other point I will have to dedicate a separate blog just on food and some yummy dishes we have tried.

Can I help you?
Derek and I have been very lucky to have friends here who have helped us get settled in over the last week. I should add that some students here on campus have also been very helpful and friendly. Over the last couple of days, students have been very helpful making sure my classroom is set up okay, showing me how to use the AV equipment, or how to buy a meal card for the university canteen. I’ve been very impressed so far.

So these are some of my first impressions and experiences. I look forward to sharing more stories, pictures and videos in the weeks to come!

Trials and Tribulations at the Chinese Consulate

NOTE: Scroll down towards the end of the posting for advice and info about getting Chinese visas
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One of the most important aspects of preparing to live in China is obtaining a visa. This is something Derek and I had been planning for for several weeks. With our recent road trip down to California in early July to visit family as well as Yosemite and the Redwoods, we planned to add a day or so for sightseeing in San Francisco. On the SF itinerary was this much anticipated trip to the Chinese consulate.

Derek and I tried to make sure that we had all our papers in order. For me this included an official invitation letter from the Chinese government and my future employer, Nanjing University of Economics and Finance that declared that I was fit to work in China. In order to have this invitation letter issued, I had to get an extensive physical exam done which included an echocardiogram, a chest x-ray and blood work testing for HIV and then have the physical exam form officially signed and stamped by my physician so that it could then be sent to China and then the said invitation letter could be issued and mailed back to me. Now for Derek, I insisted he take bank statements showing he had sufficient funds to live in China and wouldn’t be a drain on their system; a copy of international medical insurance; and just to be on the safe side, we drafted up power of attorney forms declaring Derek and I as a responsible couple who will be responsible for one another, in spite of the fact that we are not married and may not be seen as a legal, committed entity in many nations of the world. I was certain that the Chinese consulate people would be very impressed with our thorough preparation and that we would be granted eternal entrance to their magic kingdom. Well okay. At least a 1 year work permit visa for me and a 12-month, multiple entry tourist visa for Derek.

So off we went to the Chinese consulate in San Francisco arriving nice and early- only 15 minutes after the consulate opened. We marched by the quiet protestors giving out pamphlets on human rights abuses in China and the plight of Tibet and got our spot in line outside the embassy. Once in, we grabbed a number to wait for submitting our visa application. Time went surprisingly quickly and I even ran into a former instructor of a class I had taken in Seattle (she was there getting her passport renewed and had gotten up at 6 am to catch a flight down to SF from Seattle!). Finally our number was called and Derek and I marched up to our assigned window where Daisy, our Chinese consulate representative wryly greeted us.

After all the anticipation of this very moment, Daisy didn’t even inquire about our couple status nor did she ask for bank statements or proof of insurance. She simply took Derek’s application and told him that the maximum visa he could be issued was for 60 days (in spite of what is listed on the actual visa form). Then she took my application and wouldn’t you know it, she asked for a copy of my physical exam form which in the rush before leaving Seattle, I actually left in.. Seattle. I also didn’t think it would be necessary for me to have the form since the official Chinese invitation letter I presented her would not have been sent to me without them first getting the medical physical form. Even after I presented the official invitation letters to Daisy, she was still not impressed. I was left to just stick my tail between my legs and walk away.

For the next two days I had to pester many loved ones about the stress I was feeling due to not having a copy of this medical form. First I had to call my friend and housemate Becca in Seattle who would have to dig through my file folders looking for the forms. I also emailed my contact at Nanjing Unviersity begging her to send a scanned copy of the forms. I also am pretty sure I lamented a lot about it to Derek as well as my cousin Steve and his wife Tristanne. She tried to help me by sharing some great stress relief- advise books and I tried to focus on the advice that stress was only self induced and created. In the end, Emy at Nanjing University pulled through and sent me a copy of the medical form as well as the EKG, chest x-ray and blood work results.

When I returned two days to the Chinese consulate, we had much better luck. While I was waiting to meet with Daisy again, Derek was in line to pick up his passport with his visa. As luck would have it, he met a woman in line who was going over to Beijing to visit her son who was working there. She took Derek’s card and next thing you know, Derek got an email from her son and they are indeed interested in his web-design expertise! And as luck would have it for me, Daisy seemed a lot friendlier and my application was processed without any hitches. I was even able to pick it up later that day.

So if you are planning to travel to China, be prepared to shell out a lot of money for your visa. It doesn’t matter if it’s a tourist or work permit visa. All visas to China for American citizens are $140. If you would like to have your application rushed, it’s an extra $20 for 2-3 days and an extra $30 for the same day (a fee I was happy to pay so not to have to return). It’s best to go with an application for a visa in the morning and arrive early enough in the afternoon to pick up a passport before they close (if you arrive 30 minutes before closing, you should be alright). There are consulates in San Francisco, LA, Chicago and of course the embassy in DC. Another option is that you can pay a travel agency or visa service to process and take care of the visa application for you. This seems like the best option if you do not live in a city with a consulate or have the option of traveling to one.

I actually found the Chinese Consulate San Francisco website pretty helpful and you can download the visa application forms from there (as well as the infamous medical form which is only needed if you are trying to get a visa with a working permit to live and work there. This is not required for a tourist visa):

http://www.chinaconsulatesf.org/eng/qianzhen/

Good luck with any future visa endeavors to China and I hope this will not be a deterrent for any prospective visitors of Derek and me in Nanjing!

We're headed to China!

Welcome to Travel for Cause! This blog will be used to share our insight and experiences in China over the next two years. We have had a dream of going overseas for some time and we are thrilled to be making Nanjing, China our new home for the next couple of years. I admit I never would have thought in a million years that China would be our destination. It will be a new adventure and it's true that we are pretty unfamiliar with anything to do with Chinese culture, the Mandarin language, and the many different peoples of China, etc.. We also have no idea what to expect. Nevertheless we are excited to embark on the next chapter of our life and look forward to sharing our thoughts and experiences with you.

Join us at the end of August 2010 as we embark on our new adventure once we arrive in Nanjing!