As I departed and said goodbye to my folks at the Dulles
airport in Virginia just a little over a week ago, I hugged extra long,
especially with my mom. My parents have seen me depart on countless trips in my
life- junior year in college to Germany; a work trip to Russia; a six month
stint in England; a cross country trip to move to Seattle and even last year to
China. You would think it would become easier each time and I would become
immune to teary goodbyes, yet there I was, a grown woman fighting back the
tears as I descended down with the escalator and slowly out of sight of my
parents.
This departure shouldn’t have been any different from other
departures, particularly since I was returning to a place I already lived. I
suppose it marked rather a departure from one period in my life and the move to
a new beginning in my life. Although I have returned to China for a second
year, it was a somewhat heavy decision made unexpectedly at the end of June and
this time I have returned alone to find my way in this guest country as well as
in the world.
After a summer surrounded with family and good friends in
the US, I felt mentally ready to return to Nanjing. After the long 24+ hour
trip I arrived in Nanjing feeling confident that I had a handle on things. I
managed to squeeze onto the airport bus getting the last seat at the very back
of the bus and confidently asking my seat mate whether the bus was indeed
heading to where I wanted to go. From the bus, I hopped off and hailed a cab
and arrived at my new apartment by midnight to be met by my friend Lucy who had
already prepped my apartment, bought breakfast food, etc. From there I hopped
upstairs to Mike and Tien’s where I could use Skype to call home and was handed
a martini. It was a nice feeling to arrive in my home across the world to such
welcoming and open arms.
Living in China second time round is less stressful as I
have an idea of what to expect. Living here has taught me to be patient with
the way things are here and to not hold my breath about certain things getting
done. For example, not having our teaching schedule until the night before the
semester began? No problem. Not having internet in my apartment for a few days?
I managed. Mopeds and bikes coming from every direction towards me as I cross
the street with the right of way? That’s how it is here.
Still, I fooled myself into thinking I had a complete 100% grasp
on things here and that I could manage on my own without relying too much on
others for help. Last year I relied too much and too often on Tien to help me
at the doctor’s, when I got in a snafu at the supermarket, or with registering
for the GRE exam here in China. I guess I was wrong this time to assume though
that I could just patiently sit in my new place and things would magically fall
into place. I still had to have Tien show me how to get my air conditioner and
washing machine functioning and then it took an unexpected teary phone conversation
with a friend about computer woes to make me realize that it is okay to reach
out to others for support and help. I think this has been the most difficult
and eye opening part of my transition here. Still, I have come to terms with
the fact that it doesn’t mean I’m “not cutting it” here just because I need
that support.
I feel that I am in a good place here both literally and
figuratively. I’m slowly working out the little kinks of living in my new
apartment and am enjoying the community that lives around this campus. I am now
living in the center of Nanjing as opposed to the outskirts of the city where I
was last year. Oddly enough, although I am in the heart of Nanjing, I am in
very “Chinese” area where I rarely see other foreigners other than the other
foreign teachers who live on this campus as well. I occasionally get a curious
stare from people as I march to the supermarket, but I don’t mind. In the
mornings I sometimes wake up to the gentle music of people doing their
stretches and tai chi. Evenings, the campus comes alive with families walking
their dogs and grandparents walking their little ones around the athletic track
with their tricycles. Right outside the campus are lots of street vendors and
small family restaurants selling noodles or dumplings and a local market
selling all varieties of produce as well as meat and fish. Although it is all
very foreign to me, I don’t think I will ever feel alone or that I am lacking
human contact here. I’m grateful to have the opportunity to be here and learn
about this country as well as myself.
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| Morning exercises and tai chi |
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| Some produce selection at the local market |
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| Live eels from the fish monger in the market. Any takers? |
